Friendships And How Do We Get Them To Work

No one is meant to journey through life alone. We are made to relate. Relationships are essential to our way of being, and they evolve and change as we do when we age. As kids, you develop your first relationship with your parent/caregiver. As you get older, you still maintain that relationship but your relationship with your friends take precedence. Even older, you begin to build and cultivate romantic relationships, professional relationships, etc. Many use the term relationship to refer to romantic involvements, and that’s probably due to the fact that we have developed names for all the other relationships in our lives (i.e. associates, co-workers, family, friends, and so on).

As mommies, we rely on our friends. They're our support system. We go to them for love, conversation, and stress relief – especially on those precious nights away from our kids! At times, it’s so hard to maintain these friendships. I mean it’s already difficult to maintain a relationship with your man who’s around daily, let alone friends you potentially see a few times a year. As we get older things change and friends aren’t always on the same page. Some of us are still enjoying the single life, traveling the world, building their careers, while others are building families. Unfortunately, there are times when a friend is dealing with life changing tragedies or struggling to make it day by day. Though all of this may be occurring, how do I fit in a girl’s night on a regular basis?

I’ve learned that in order to create great friendships you have to be intentional. You have to schedule check-ins, phone calls, short visits, fun activities and precious nights away from the kids and anything else that you all may need a siesta from. It may seem like a lot of work but it’s necessary if you want to have a fruitful relationship. We’re at a juncture in our lives when so many new things are becoming priority and we are beginning to learn who we are. Catering to a friendship will only work when we are intentional with it.

The most important thing to remember is to do everything with love and not obligation. So often life gets in the way and messes everything up and stress becomes synonymous with life. Anger and frustration sort of take precedence and the love we have to share gets buried underneath all that mess. Building lasting friendships requires us to love, to love patiently and sometimes from a distance.  


So for the rest of the week, I challenge you to be intentional with old friends and new friends alike. Remember to come from a place of love and patience. Don’t be afraid to reach out. In situations that seem beyond you, if you miss your friend, don’t be afraid to start over. Like I said, relationships are essential to our way of being, and I bet you were a lot happier when that person was in your life. Make a call, send a text, every girl needs a friend.


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